Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to the rest of the world!  We celebrated the new year here in September, and it was 2003.  So, no grand celebrations will occur here Jan.1.  But, I will be thinking of all the craziness that is occurring throughout the rest of the world during this time.

Things here in Addis remain interesting. Just when I think that I've grown accustomed to life here, something strange happens and I'm reminded that I will always be a foreigner. The weather has changed dramatically in the past week.  It's been quite cool, and today it rained all day.  Last night there was a HUGE rain storm. It was difficult to sleep as the rain was hitting the metal roof of my building, it was so loud! 

My clinical skills continue to be challenged at work. The doctor has stopped coming regularly, and when he does come, it's for a very short amount of time.  It's very challenging to work without the support of a doctor.  He is demanding more money from the sisters, and it's a problem.  Personally, I wasn't a big fan of his work anyway, but not having ANY physician is very difficult.  The sisters are in a difficult position. It's hard to recruit doctors to a poorly paid, part time position.  They are reluctant to give the current doctor more money because of his performance, but at the same time, know that it will be difficult to replace him.  We'll see what happens. In the meantime, I've been spending more time on the internet researching diseases and looking up things in this old formulary that was donated to the sisters, so that I know the dosages and appropriate medications for diseases I've only read about in textbooks.  Who would have thought there could be so many parasites?!

I've grown attached to several of my patients, but two in particular that I make sure to visit every day.  Aragow, who I spoke of in a previous post (he has cancer) is still with us.  He continues to struggle with pain control, and we are doing the best we can.  Management of his pain has improved, and along with prayer, he has become more peaceful.  Every morning I go to the kitchen and try to snag some of his favorite food. Today, he even gave me a thumbs up sign.  I wonder how long he will be with us, suffering as he is.  It's difficult to watch, but I have to believe there is a greater purpose beyond my comprehension.  My other very special patient is in the same room as Aragow.  He is a little old man who greets me with a smile every morning and kisses my hand. He calls out 'my daughter' (in Amharic) when he sees me, and it's very cute. He has the most high pitched voice ever, and he is always asking for bread. It's the only thing he eats.  Bread and tea.  I don't know how long one can live on bread and tea, but he is happy and it's a joy to love and serve him every day.
 
What will 2011 bring?! I can only imagine.  I have been thinking about how much my life has changed in the past year, and I feel so blessed! So much of what has happened has been unplanned, but has brought me to a place of joy and peace. I can't help but thank God for His wisdom and guidance. Last year at this time, I was planning my second visit to Kolkata, India.  It was during my time there that I decided to pursue full time mission work.  I felt like my life in Saskatoon was very empty and directionless.  I had everything that I needed, and WAY more, but I was still restless.  I was always searching for something more.  Thinking that there had to be more to life.

This year, as I sit in an internet cafe in the middle of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, I couldn't feel more fulfilled.  I am working with the poor, doing some really cool nursing things.  Mostly though, I am getting the opportunity to touch lives and serve in a very special way.  I don't own many things, but I definitely have everything that I need, and much more than most.  God has blessed me with so much. I feel like things in my life are finally coming together.  I felt for so long that my life was on hold.  Maybe God was waiting for me to finally give up control and let Him guide me.  Looking back now, I know that during that time, He was preparing me for the work I am now able to do, and preparing my heart to receive all that He has planned for me. 

So what is my plan for 2011?  On a professional note, I plan to stay here.  I have been offered a position working with a small NGO here.  They work with unwed mothers.  They offer shelter, skill training, education and child care for women who are pregnant.  It is very shameful for women who are not married to become pregnant here.  There are no day cares, and often family support is lacking due to social stigmas.  Unfortunately these young women are left to believe that abortion or adoption are their only options.  So many of them want to keep their babies, but they don't have the resources to do so.  By offering them a way to support their families and live independently, this organization helps them to become self-sufficient.  I'm really excited about the work that they do.  Currently, they don't have a nurse on staff, which means I get to design my own program.  It's a big job, but the potential to do great things is there, and that's what is exciting to me. I'm working on changing my visa right now. If all goes well, that would allow me to stay in the country for 2 years which would be nice.  

On a personal note, I'm excited to share that I have met someone very special.  His name is Hailu (pronounced Hi Loo), and he works with the Missionaries of Charity as a social worker.  We've been getting to know each other for a little while now, and I'm excited to see what the new year brings for us. It wasn't exactly in my plan to meet someone so quickly on my journey, but as I'm learning, some of the best things in life happen when you don't plan.
   
That's all for now.  My last post of 2010 is sent with WARM ('cause I know that even if it's cool here, it's COLD back home!!) wishes for a very Happy New Year and MANY blessings in 2011!

Monday, December 27, 2010

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

{I wrote this post a couple of days ago thinking that I would have my computer working and internet access in time to post it on the day, but of course I didn't.  I should be used to the speed of things here in Africa, but still my expectations are too great. Enjoy anyways, even if it is a few days late}
Well, it’s Christmas for you. I still have to wait a few more weeks to celebrate in Ethiopia, but in my heart Christmas will always be Dec. 25th, no matter where I’m living.

I was reflecting on the nativity the other day. I feel like I have a whole new appreciation for the poverty that Jesus was born into. Stables and mangers and shepherds are common place here. It gives me a better picture of the place they must have stayed in. It seems so much more real to me this year. Walking down the street, I often pass donkeys carrying wood or other heavy loads. This time of year, I can’t help but picture Mary on their backs and wonder what that must have been like for her. It’s really neat to be amid all of this. I mentioned in my last post that there weren’t any Christmas decorations around. To get myself in the Christmas spirit, I started walking to and from work with my ipod on Christmas music. With the donkeys, sheep and other things in the street as I walk, it’s easy enough to imagine my own Christmas decorations!

My friend Sarah was here for a short visit on her way to south Africa. She will come through again in a few weeks and stay longer. It was nice to have her here, even for such a short time. It was my first taste of my worlds colliding. I feel like so much in my life has changed over the past 4 months. Having someone here who knows me well and introducing her a little bit to my new life, was fun. She was a good sport about my modest accommodations, hot plate meals and the quirkiness of electricity and water supply.

Work has been busy as usual. I met a young girl the other day with an outrageous tumour. I have never seen anything like it. This tumour was growing out of her forehead and was the size of a cantaloupe. One of the American doctors here, did some tests and they found that even if they removed the tumour, it would grow back in a very short amount of time as the cancer has spread extensively through her whole body. So, the decision was made to leave it. The problem is that the skin around the tumour is so stretched, it often cracks and bleeds. So, we have been keeping a bandage on it. The other day, when they were changing the bandage, it started to bleed uncontrollably and we couldn’t get it to stop. It was very scary. Blood transfusions are very expensive here, and blood is very hard to get. Transferring her to hospital is a complicated process, but we did our best to make the arrangements. Just as we were about to transfer her, her father decided that he didn’t want her to go. He wanted to take her home. I couldn’t blame him, as I’m sure that she would have sat in Emergency for a long time, if she ever got to see a doctor at all. The complication of THAT scenario is that her home is a 11 hour car ride away. So, we were left to try to stabilize her and keep her comfortable. Its challenging when your resources are limited, and you feel like you could have done so much more. The power was out, so we couldn’t give her any oxygen even though she was struggling to breathe. The sisters don’t keep narcotics, so our pain management choices are very small. Sometimes all you can do is use what you have, and pray. Trusting that God’s ways are much different than our own.

On a much happier note, one of my favourite little people was discharged the other day. Her name was Lemlem and she is 5 years old. She and her dad were here when I got here. She was very small and frail and had a big belly, almost looked like she was pregnant. She was under the care of an American doctor here that works with an organization to fund various operations for patients. It turns out that she had a huge tumour on her kidney and that was why her abdomen was so big. She was receiving chemotherapy. I was always amazed with how good she was when she received her treatment. She sat so patiently and so lady like holding her hand for the nurse to start her IV. She and I became friends as I would take time to acknowledge her every day. Even with her big belly and her hair missing from the chemo, I thought she was such a pretty little girl. She has amazing eyes. After a while, she started to seek me out to greet me. I think part of it had to do with the candies and stickers I always carry for the kids, but that’s besides the point! Ha ha She would often follow me around and see patients with me. I liked having my little shadow. She had surgery to remove the tumour a little while ago. Turns out, it wasn’t cancerous at all, and so her chemo treatments stopped. Over the past few weeks, I’ve seen her get strong and gain weight and even her hair has started to grow back. She looks even more beautiful. It’s so nice to see her regain her strength and be able to go back to her family! She’s a very special little girl, and I hope that one day I get to see her again.

I feel like I’ve had the privilege of getting to know MANY special people here. I love that I’ve been here long enough now to build relationships with people and with the patients. I know that I will remember certain moments forever, some good and some not so good. I’m so blessed to have these opportunities to be changed and formed into a better, more loving person. I couldn’t ask for a better Christmas present than that!

Merry Christmas everyone! May your eyes be opened in a new way to all the beautiful gifts that God has put into your lives!

Friday, December 17, 2010

I'm flattered!

I've been neglectful of my blog!  It's nice to know that people actually read it, as I've gotten a few emails saying that people missed my blog.  I'm happy that others are enjoying my ramblings.

The last little while has been SO busy! When I have come to the internet cafe, either the power has been out, or the connection too slow to make anything productive.  Add to that a typhus outbreak amongst the sisters, and it's a bit of a challenging week!

A HUGE blessing for me is that I found a place to live.  It's in a condominium building, and it's quiet, private and generally really great!  Its about a 15 minute walk to the sisters, so it's nice.  It took me nearly 3 hours to clean the bathroom, but I"m grateful for the western toilet and hot water.  I feel very spoiled to have so much space to myself.  By N.American standards, it's a very small studio apartment.  But, I found out the other day that the previous tenant was a family of 4. I've slept there two nights now, and it's an adjustment to sleep without the noise that I've grown accustomed to.  It's nice to have a place to go to after work.  Its very emotionally draining sometimes to work with some of the situations that I encounter, and it's a relief to get away a bit and allow my brain to process some of what I'm experiencing.  I feel like for the past 3 months, so much has been new and although I've been journalling and reflecting a bit, I haven't really been able to enter into the emotional aspect of things.  It's becoming more and more real every day. 

I was hopeful that things would begin to get more Christmassy once advent started.  But, then I realized that poor people don't decorate! ha ha!!  I HAVE seen a few Christmas trees in shops and when we passed the Sheraton (the ritzy hotel here), they had garland and bows and stuff.  But, at the compound, outside of an advent wreath in the chapel, there are no signs of Christmas.  In some ways, I'm kind of grateful.  I think Christmas gets TOO crazy at home.  It's a relief to me not to have to go do all that shopping and get all stressed out about gifts and such.  I've been listening to Christmas music on my ipod and I have a nice manger picture in my new place, and that's enough. It helps me to focus more on the real meaning of Christmas and to work on preparing my heart instead of gifts.

The longer I'm here, the more I get involved in things.  It's kind of fun to be given more responsibility, but at the same time, its sometimes challenging.  I had the opportunity to take a patient to a hospital here.  The patient's condition worsened significantly despite any treatment we offered, so we decided to transfer him to hospital.  I was kind of dreading the experience as I have had terrible experiences with hospitals in Gambia and India.  Thankfully though, it was a private hospital and I was pleased to see the high quality of care that is available here in Ethiopia.  Unfortunately, they were not able to give any clarity as to why our patient is not improving.  They refused to keep him after his tests were completed, so we took him back and we will continue to pray.  I find it interesting to see how hospitals can refuse to admit or keep patients.  This seems unethical to me.  So often we admit patients who have gone to 2 or 3 hospitals and been refused care.  It blows my mind.  We are NOT a hospital and the services we can provide are very basic.  Its frustrating to see these patients suffer for no reason.  I honestly don't know how they can turn them away and still sleep at night. It makes me angry to see people treated so poorly. Some of the patients we get from hospital barely survive long enough for us to give them a bath.  It's inhumane!

Every patient has a green admission card. On the card is written their name, their age, where they are from and what they are admitted with.  We write any tests that have been done, and any medications that are ordered.  Twice a day the cards are passed out, and all the patients line up to receive their medications.  Somehow, on Sunday afternoon, the cards for room 2 went missing.  All day Monday, they were missing, so no one in that room received any medication.  We thought that one of the workers who was absent on Monday might have put them somewhere.  But, on Tuesday when that worker returned and we still couldn't find the cards, it was beginning to be a bit of a problem.  Wednesday we had the task of trying to fix this problem.  Remember that I said that there was a typhus outbreak amongst the sisters?  Yeah, well that means that the men's ward is up to me and my 4 nurses.  So, all we had to go on was a list of men who gave their names saying that they didn't have their cards.  We went through the register, found their date of admission and the diagnosis they came in with.  After that, we had to meet and assess each patient and prescribe medications all over again.  There were about 50 patients.  It was okay with the malaria and typhus patients as we could generally figure out how many days of treatment they should have left.  But, when it got to the hypertensives, strokes and ascites patients, it got more challenging.  The whole time, I was praying that I wouldn't kill anyone!  I only prescribed for 5 days of medications, so after Sunday, I'm not responsible for any of the deaths in room 2!  I'm hopeful that he doctor comes in the next day or two and he can alter what needs to be altered.
I have to be going.  Thank you for all your encouraging comments. I hope you are all enjoying the cool weather and snow! The weather here is warm and sunny. It gets cool at night, but you never need more than a sweatshirt to keep you warm. Not missing the cold at all!

Happy Advent!

 

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Very special

I got to be a part of a really special moment this week.  One of our patients has cancer in his hip. His name is Aragow.  Unfortunately, it's inoperable, and there is nothing we can do.  We work very hard to manage his pain, but its very difficult with the medication we have available. The sisters are not licensed to carry many narcotics.  This man cries out often.  Especially when the sisters or I are in the room because he knows that we are the only one who give him pain medicine.  I know that some of it IS real pain, but some of it is attention seeking as well. It's really challenging to be charitable to him sometimes.  I can only imagine that the other men in the room grow very tired of his noises and carrying on.  The other day, I went into the room, and it was eerily quiet.  It's never quiet in that room.  When I went to his bed, he didn't look good. His face was swollen, and his voice was very weak.  Even though he often drives me crazy, my heart went out to him.  I sat with him a while, and one of the sisters came in.  She noticed that he wasn't doing well either.  She called one of the workers, and we decided that we were going to pray for him.  The worker clapped his hands, and immediately the room went silent, and everyone joined in praying for Aragow.  It was so beautiful to see all the men praying for this man.  Even though he is often the cause of huge disruption in the room, and is a very difficult person, they all cared enough to pray for him.  It was so special to be a part of it.  If nothing else, we were able to show Aragow that he is loved and that he is worthy of our time and care.  I was concerned that he would pass away quickly, so I watched him very closely over the next few days.  He has been quieter and a lot more patient with us and the workers.  He seeks our attention less, and I'm more willing to spend extra time and care with him when he doesn't demand it all the time.  It's amazing how much more peaceful that room has been since our special prayer time!
I would like to say that I'm getting excited for Christmas, but I"m not.  It's hard to get excited about Christmas, when there are NO signs of it around. It's really weird because it IS a mostly Christian country. I don't think the weather helps, but I've been kind of confused by all of this.  I went to mass on Sunday, thinking we would celebrate the first week of advent, but we didn't.  THAT really confused me.  THEN, I realized that we have been 2 weeks behind in the liturgy since I got here.  Not only in Ethiopia, do they have their own calendar, their own time, but they ALSO have their own Christmas.  They celebrate Christmas on January 7th (in our calendar).  By this point, I shouldn't be surprised! ha ha  So, as a result, I have to wait 2 more weeks for Advent to start, and then maybe things will get a bit more festive around here.  I'm thankful that I didn't start seeing Christmas things in Oct, like we do back home, but I'm hopeful that there will be SOME decorations or sign of Christmas soon.
I tried again to post photos, but the internet connection is so choppy, they can't download.  I"m getting my computer at the end of Dec, so I"m hopeful to share some pics with you then.
This post is short, I know. Its been a very full week, and I have a TON of stuff to do.  Please continue to pray for me. I"m exploring the possibility of working with a small NGO here after my volunteer time with the sisters is over.  Still trying to work out the details. Please pray that God would open or close doors as He sees fit.
Have a blessed Advent season!